Here’s what I mean by the balance:
Even if the Lord has blessed you with talent and financial or other resources, He did not call you to use them to fix every problem that another person creates. Instead, He called you to “ABIDE.”
In John 15:5, Jesus said: “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” Some translations use the word “abide” for the verb “remain.” Both words are so lovely and powerful. Spending time in prayer, studying the scripture and listening to praise-filled music are all great ways to abide with your savior. The more you do these things, the more answers you will receive - as to whether you should act in a particular situation.
There are many examples in scripture of of Jesus rescuing sinners from hopeless situations – such as those who could not work because they were disabled (John 5:1-9) or demon-possessed (Mark 5:1-20). The Bible also instructs Believers care for widows and the poor (Isaiah 1:17; 1 Tim. 5:3). But no scriptures come to mind in which we are encouraged to rescue a capable adult from a mess of their own making. In fact, the wisdom literature of Proverbs recommends that you don’t take responsibility for another’s debt (Prov. 22:26).
Prodigal Son Prayer:
Rather Than A Rescuer
In the famous parable of the Prodigal Son, found in Luke 15, the father gives his son a large gift, but when the son squanders the gift and finds himself in need, the father is depicted by Jesus as lovingly watching from a distance, exuding love, expectancy, and forgiveness – not rushing to his son’s aid. I wonder what would have happened had the father traveled to the distant country where the son had moved and bailed him out before the son “came to himself?” It’s possible the son would have spent even longer in the place where he was not fulfilling his destiny, instead of turning his life around.
So, while it is my natural tendency to be a rescuer, I have asked the Holy Spirit to help me with this. Instead of jumping to the rescue when one of my children has a serious need, even a need not created by poor choices, I say this prayer:
“Holy Spirit, Thank You for being our Counselor. I am sad about this situation [_________________] in my child’s life. I draw close to You and ask to spend time with you – that I may seek Your wisdom in this situation. Should I offer help with this situation? I want my child to learn to depend on YOU and not me. If it is within Your will for me to act, show the right balance between showing love and creating dependence on myself instead of You. If I should not intervene at this time, please give me peace about saying no. Amen.”
Often, if I spend a lot of time in the Word and in Prayer about a situation, I feel wisdom from the Holy Spirit that either tells me to wait – or gives me an idea for how I can support without actually interjecting myself in the situation. My faith grows and is made richer for the remaining. Our God is so creative. No matter how big the challenge that is facing your child, God only has to breathe in your child’s direction to fix it! All the money and striving in the world will come to “nothing” – as the scripture promises – if you are not sufficiently connected to the Source of every good thing. Spending time with the One who loves you – and who loves your family – will yield a better solution than anything you can devise on your own!
Get the Balance Right. Abide more than you worry.
God bless you and your family.
Lily
their generation, there are several places in scripture where it explains that disdain for parents is a first step in separation from God. (See 2 Timothy 3: 1-5).
In Matthew 12:25, Jesus said, “Every kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and every city or household divided against itself will not stand.”
Separation is Satan’s foundational tool. One of his primary methods is to divide - in order to conquer. We see this from the beginning in Genesis, when the serpent deceived Adam and Eve in order to separate them from God.
As I have written in previous articles on this website and hopefully you noticed as an unwritten theme throughout our book, Unconfined, I believe that family is God’s design. While I respect that my children are adults and I am no longer needed in the role as parent, I believe we are more likely to bless future generations if a cohesive spirit of unity and communion exists, rather than a spirit of separation in our family.
If you are experiencing the estrangement of a dearly loved prodigal child who has rejected you, consider these steps:
- Confess your own part in any separation.
- Recognize that separation of families is a primary goal of Satan, and refuse to accept that the separation is permanent or that his lies about your motives, heart or character will succeed.
- Meditate on the following qualities of God which foster unity and are in opposition to separation:
Consequences of Separation God's Design
Critical/Mocking/Arrogant/Proud Humility
(1 Peter 5:6-7)
Deception/Lies/Vain Imaginations Truth
(John 8:32)
No fear of God Fear of the Lord
(Proverbs 9:10)
Lost/Hopeless/Full of Fear, Anxiety and Despair Filling of the Spirit
(2 Cor. 3:17)
Sins of the Fathers/Cursed Covered by the Blood of Jesus
(1 John 1:7)
Greedy/Seeking after the World Generosity
(1 Tim. 6:18-19)
Death
Life/Blessing
(Deut. 30:19)
Praying the scriptures above for your prodigal, is a powerful spiritual weapon to uproot each of the strongholds of the spirit of separation. Read each of the scriptures while asking the Holy Spirit to firmly establish that God-honoring behavior in your own life and overflowing that quality to and through your children.
Prayer for Prodigals:
God Our Healer
Prayer:
Dear Lord, everything you created was good. However, mankind allowed the spirit of separation to come in to your perfect plan, and it has been trying to destroy the beautiful gift of family since the dawn of creation. The deepest desire of my heart is to see my family restored, and thriving in You! There are many examples in Your word in which You answered an intercessor’s prayer for healing and restoration of families and communities. You are referred to in holy scripture 60 times as Jehovah Rapha (God Our Healer). Thus, I firmly believe that You are able to supernaturally restore things that appear permanently broken. I want my life and family to resemble the vine you describe in John 15:5-8 – firmly connected You and bearing fruit! I pray the following will grow in my life and in my descendants: humility, truth, reverence for your holiness, nearness of the Holy Spirit, generosity and blessing!
Blessings,
Lily
their generation, there are several places in scripture where it explains that disdain for parents is a first step in separation from God. (See 2 Timothy 3: 1-5).
In Matthew 12:25, Jesus said, “Every kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and every city or household divided against itself will not stand.”
Separation is Satan’s foundational tool. One of his primary methods is to divide - in order to conquer. We see this from the beginning in Genesis, when the serpent deceived Adam and Eve in order to separate them from God.
As I have written in previous articles on this website and hopefully you noticed as an unwritten theme throughout our book, Unconfined, I believe that family is God’s design. While I respect that my children are adults and I am no longer needed in the role as parent, I believe we are more likely to bless future generations if a cohesive spirit of unity and communion exists, rather than a spirit of separation in our family.
If you are experiencing the estrangement of a dearly loved prodigal child who has rejected you, consider these steps:
- Confess your own part in any separation.
- Recognize that separation of families is a primary goal of Satan, and refuse to accept that the separation is permanent or that his lies about your motives, heart or character will succeed.
- Meditate on the following qualities of God which foster unity and are in opposition to separation:
Consequences of Separation
vs. God's Design
Critical/Mocking/Arrogant/Proud vs.
Humility
(1 Peter 5:6-7)
Deception/Lies/Vain Imaginations vs.
Truth
(John 8:32)
No fear of God vs.
Fear of the Lord
(Proverbs 9:10)
Lost/Hopeless/Full of Fear, Anxiety and Despair vs.
Filling of the Spirit
(2 Cor. 3:17)
Sins of the Fathers/Cursed vs.
Covered by the Blood of Jesus
(1 John 1:7)
Greedy/Seeking after the World vs.
Generosity
(1 Tim. 6:18-19)
Death vs.
Life/Blessing
(Deut. 30:19)
Praying the scriptures above for your prodigal, is a powerful spiritual weapon to uproot each of the strongholds of the spirit of separation. Read each of the scriptures while asking the Holy Spirit to firmly establish that God-honoring behavior in your own life and overflowing that quality to and through your children.
Prayer for Prodigals:
God Our Healer
Prayer:
Dear Lord, everything you created was good. However, mankind allowed the spirit of separation to come in to your perfect plan, and it has been trying to destroy the beautiful gift of family since the dawn of creation. The deepest desire of my heart is to see my family restored, and thriving in You! There are many examples in Your word in which You answered an intercessor’s prayer for healing and restoration of families and communities. You are referred to in holy scripture 60 times as Jehovah Rapha (God Our Healer). Thus, I firmly believe that You are able to supernaturally restore things that appear permanently broken. I want my life and family to resemble the vine you describe in John 15:5-8 – firmly connected You and bearing fruit! I pray the following will grow in my life and in my descendants: humility, truth, reverence for your holiness, nearness of the Holy Spirit, generosity and blessing!
Blessings,
Lily
